a poets confessional

I've spent some time alone recently. I was blessed to be able to safely travel to three different countries in that time. I needed the time with myself - for myself. The thing about the company of your solitude is you have no one to cloud your thoughts, judgments or emotions. Not being able to silence those voices can be uncomfortable for many, but its in that discomfort that you find stillness. It's in that stillness you're able to confront the chaos and many thoughts, and it's in that solitude you become better for yourself and for others. I've learned a lot of lessons recently, not from current life experiences, but more so from past experiences. I've developed a new perspective and gone back to the roots of my being that I lost in the minutia of life. The universe has reminded me that I am love and unconditional love must begin with me. I've come to a place of forgiveness for those who have wronged me, and I've forgiven myself for my wrongdoings. ...

I don't know where or when I lost the most valuable thing to me, but, I know I lost it, and I've searched for it almost everywhere, except for where it really was. I'm talking about myself. I've got the timeline pegged somewhere between December 2011 and the present. Somewhere in that timeframe, my needs, my desires and passions became less important. I acquiesced on things I once stood firm on, compromise became my middle name and yours truly found his way to the back burner again - and there I was left. I read a Facebook post of an old acquaintance recently that said something to the extent that he was physically cleaning his house as well and mentally and spiritually cleaning his house. Now, I don't know if that meant he was warding off spirits with white sage, or just unloading some emotional baggage. So, I spent some time with that post and this is what it means to me. Let it go. That's right. If it doesn't add value - let it go. If there's unfi...

Power of Goodbye I've never understood why letting go of relationships was so difficult for some. People have said I haven't found true love. I've even challenged myself by digging in to find out if I'm just a bad person - cold and heartless, or if I have committment issues. I've guessed and second guessed myself, and my ability to love genuinely. I've made excuses about how difficult I am to be in a relationship with. At one point, I accepted the possibility of loneliness.  As I quietly mourn the loss of Dr. Maya Angelou, and anniversary the death of my grandmother, I've thought a lot about goodbyes, and my view is this - while parting with the loss of months or years spent with someone, a job, or situation - goodbyes merely pave the way for the next chapter and none of us are in this thing called life to write a chapbook.  I spent a majority of my years holding on too tightly. I've barricaded doors to prevent lovers from leaving in fear of loneliness, ...

Today I did something I haven't done in, well, I can't remember the last time. Anywho, today, I woke up singing. I can't remember what I was singing, I believe it was medley of chaotic noise, but the point is, I was singing. This means that things are looking up and that I could very possibly be feeling better. I love Sunday's. It's the beginning of the week, a spiritual day (at least for some) and to me a sign of newness, and there's nothing I love more than newness. So I've made a conscious effort to stay in the good ole newness kind of mood and not let anyone steal my joy from me. It's weird in a way. I've lost a lot of people recently, and found some new ones, but it's been like a spiritual enema (okay that sounds gross) but seriously. I'm purging people like one would purge unwanted food, or like the ocean purges unwanted marine life and trash that washes upon the shore. Sometimes, I'm learning, loss is good, and so I will contin...

What's up and welcome to my blog. I've attempted this in the past however I've been unsuccessful, probably due in part to my moody as demeanor and my inability to share and be public. I've chosen to try this again today, for a couple of reasons: it's Friday August 13, and while others believe this day to be filled with doom and jinx, I find it promising and filled with newness Eat, Pray, Love comes out in theaters today, and since this book inadvertently changed my life, and I've just finished reading the book for a third time (sorry I needed a refresher) I figured I'd go for it lastly, because I'm surrounded in this world of mine by people who think they know me, and claim to love me, and yet I feel so fucking alone, so ..... here I shall share if for no other reason - for therapy I'm not sure what this blog will be / look like, however I will give it my all, and stay true to me and my beliefs, so if you're cool with that, nice, hold on an...